“Empathy towards others, whether that is a roommate, friend, or romantic partner, is important if the person values the connection. “If a person has attempted to be open with their roommate about their thoughts and feelings, and the roommate refuses to compromise over small things, this is not a good sign,” Panning says. If your roommate refuses to make compromises over things like cleanliness standards and when it’s appropriate to have guests over, that spells trouble. “Life changes, sometimes quickly, and our ability to adapt to these changes is an important indicator for success in relationships and in life,” Panning says. There are many keys to living a psychologically healthy life, and in Panning’s opinion, “flexibility and openness” are among the most important. “When tensions arise, that can lead to one or both people feeling stressed and tense about going back home.” That’s a situation no one wants. At the end of the day, “we want our homes to feel as comfortable and calm as possible,” Panning tells Elite Daily. If they know it bothers you, and they really couldn’t care less - well, Panning says it might be time for you to have a roomie breakup. Now, let’s say your roommate’s late-night music habit is really starting to drive you mad. Ideally, you and your roommate would’ve had a discussion about boundaries at the start of living together, but let’s face it: That conversation can be slightly uncomfortable, which is why it sometimes falls through the cracks. Perhaps you’ve lived with someone who seems like the perfect roommate - except for the fact that they have this annoying habit of blasting music from their fancy Bose speakers at unreasonable hours, and the noise is super disruptive to you.
Here are a few telltale signs your roommate doesn’t like you and is toxic to be around.įiguring out how to deal with a roommate who is inconsiderate of your boundaries can be exhausting. Even if you hate confrontation, these types of conversations are necessary when it comes to creating a happy home for yourself. “Point out the situation,” Forshee continues, “then say how you feel about them, ask open-ended questions to understand their perspective, and then tell them what you need.” Imagine structuring the conversation like you would an essay: State your case, back up your claim, and make a closing argument you both can work with.
Forshee echoes this note, adding that it’s very important to address the toxicity with the other person first, “before making any assumptions or moves,” like packing your bags and leaving them stranded without forking over half the rent as payback. “I believe that the best path for a successful roommate experience is open communication,” Jennifer Panning, a licensed clinical psychologist Mindful Psychology Associates, tells Elite Daily.
There are a few ways to go about dealing with a toxic roommate. Danielle Forshee, LLC, a toxic person can be defined as “someone who violates personal boundaries physically, emotionally, or psychologically.” Oftentimes, she tells Elite Daily, these types of people are “passive aggressive, or act in ways that make it difficult to assess their genuineness.” According to doctor of psychology and licensed clinical social worker Dr. You see people in a new light when you live with them.īut there's a difference between someone constantly leaving unwashed dishes for you to clean and someone who is actually toxic. A toxic roommate can be particularly difficult to spot if they're an acquaintance or a stranger - toxic behaviors are rarely obvious on first impression - but you might be surprised to see these behaviors even in a good friend-turned-roommate. You can’t always tell if your roommate is controlling or toxic right off the bat, especially if you’ve never experienced something like that before. No offense to mom or dad, but there’s nothing better than living on your own - that is, unless your income requires you to get a roomie and things go south.